If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
