ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
