you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
