im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
