So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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