Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
