did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
