we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
