Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
