so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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