I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
