Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that's an acceptable place to lick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize