i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
