Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What a dumb baby whore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
