he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire