I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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