Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
