OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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