I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
