i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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