You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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