Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
