I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
