I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
