I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
