Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
