Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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