we have pet lesbian snakes
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
