I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize