I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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