WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize