Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
