Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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