So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
