new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
