More tranny stories later!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
