And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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