I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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