But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you win again, gameday.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
