you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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