She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize