Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
