wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
