do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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