He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
