never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
