girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
