she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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