My first STD was from a foam party
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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