He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
