Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
