i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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