I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
