I accidentally had phone sex last night
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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