As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
