I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
