Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
