Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
