I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
3pm strippers are depressing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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