I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
