About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
